16,000 views.

Almost 16,000 people have read this silly little blog of mine.  And although I am pretty sure more then half the page visits are from my mom I am still completely blown away.  It's hard to understand why so many have cared about what I have to say.  It's humbling to know that I am worthy of your time and prayers.  But mostly I want you to know how incredibly surrounded I feel by love, kindness, and friendship.    People I barely know and even complete strangers from the other side of the world have let me know that they are rooting for me.  Countless voice mails, text messages, facebook comments, and letters have not gone unnoticed.  You've all had my back and I have never felt alone.  That has been huge for me.  Thank you.

This week was a rough one, the roughest one yet.  There were night sweats, day sweats, cold sweats, hot flashes, vomit, nausea, mouth sores, abscesses, kidney pain, neuropathy, and my fingernails are falling off.  I have no energy and my brain feels like its been microwaved.  I am miserable.  I have 2 more of these particular "Red Devil" treatments left and I don't know if I can do it.  It's just too painful.  On the flip side, my symptoms should be easing over the next couple days and I will get a few good days before going back into The Matrix.  To top it all off, my insurance turned me down for several insanely important procedures that I believe could help save my life.  One particular procedure takes a piece of your tumor, slices it up and tries all different medicines on it to see what works the best for your cancer.  Cool right?  Regardless, I am determined to get it done!  I need to know that I tried everything, left no stone unturned.  Whew, got a little carried away there, this completes the complaining portion of today's blog.     

Lets be honest, I've seen better days.  This is not the peak of my physical appearance.  My eyelashes and eyebrows are almost gone and I am as bald as a bowling ball.  As much as I am striving to find my confidence and gain compfort in my new skin, I am not exactly yearning to be on display.  But, this weekend I am going to slap on my big girl panties, paint on some eye brows, comb out the ol' wig, and get my booty to this FREE event-

  
Seriously, come hang out with me.