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The woman working at Home Depot looked straight at me and said “Can I help you,
sir?”. Ugh, it hurt. It hurt bad.
I could sense her embarrassment as soon as she heard my feminine voice
decline her offer. I stood there
dumbfounded. Oh my god, she thought I
was a man. Ouch. I came home and ripped all my clothes off, climbed
into bed and had a good cry. I used my
phones camera to stare at my face, trying to convince myself that it didn’t look
like a man's. Instead, I wound up just
taking pictures of myself crying. Which actually
made me look more like a man.
Dammit. Cancer is not a good look
on me.
So I kinda look like a dude. Oh, well. I am not going to hide.
I am not going to cover it up.
Even if it means people call me “sir”.
I need to learn to own it. All of
this made me realize that I need to get back to spending an hour primping
myself every morning. But this time I am
going to primp my soul. That hour that I
used to spend looking acceptable outwardly is now going to be spent being acceptable
inwardly. What a shame it would be to
not use this opportunity as a way to build my character. Thank you, Home Depot lady.
If it helps at all. You don't look like a dude. Let me tell you a story. When I was 23 yrs old I went to Target with my family. My family was me, my son who was 2 and my husband who is exactly my age. While walking in a lady stopped in her tracks looked me up and down, my husband and my son and said, "Wow, you really had them far apart....." I know you don't have a picture of me but I was TWENTY THREE and if I do say so because I can now at 43, kinda cute. People are stupid and they see what they want to see. Truly they do. You do NOT in anyway look like a man....But your right take this and grow your armour. Thats never a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteShe may have looked straight at you, but she definitely didn't see you or she would've known there was no chance a man was standing in front of her. Truly.
ReplyDeleteYou may not look how you want to right now, my dear friend, but you are still so, so beautiful. Grow the armor, cherish your inner beauty that is flourishing through this process, but know that you are still as beautiful outside as you are in, even if it looks different than you'd like. Even as you learn the outer beauty matters so much less than it used to. You are still so incredibly beautiful.
So much love to you!!
own it! you rock + you are beautiful...
ReplyDelete